The Way My Mother did.

Growing old gracefully is not about becoming soft spoken, slowing down, literally and not doing things you did when you were young. It is about growing old the way my Mother did.

In her late 70's she had a weekly outing with my cousin when she used to eat her favourite things. When she had to have dialisis, she inspired the nurses and the other patients. She knew all their problems. She never turned anyone away who needed some help, with money or otherwise.

When she became blind, her faith grew stronger. She did not give in to despair. She called her children to enquire about our health and gave advice on our problems.

I remember how she asked forgiveness from all for any wrong she may have done. She was a blind eighty old women then.

And that is how you grow old gracefully, with faith and love, the way Mummy did.

Dyeing for Colour.

I just found out about why we go gray. There is this enzyme in our bodies which stops the production of hydrogen peroxides which strips the colour from our hair. This enzyme is reduced as we grow older. This does not quite explain those who start going gray when they are eighteen or younger.

So we go grayer and grayer. Men just look distinguished with gray hair. Indira Ghandi had this streak of white hair that just looked terrific. I admired that streak and wanted to dye my hair like that when I was rather young and gray hair was not looming. Indira Ghandi was a woman of course but more man than many men.

Then, there is Cruella de Ville ( must apologise if I spelt her name wrongly here). Beautiful streaks of gray hair! It does not happen like that in life - not to women. You don't get your gray just where you want it. Your hair grays in bits and pieces, a strand here, another there, then more!

We are saved by the hair dye. Nora Ephron, writer, director etc said that the hair dye was the best thing that happened to women in the 2oth century. My apologies Ms Ephron for paraphrasing and my thanks. I think hair dye is a wonderful thing.

You can choose to go natural with your gray hair. This seems to work better for men - you know the distinguished look I mentioned above. It does not do much for most women. Unfortunately, rightly or wrongly, women who go around with their gray hair are just defined by their age. Yes, it is unfair but that is how it is. There are some exceptions of course, some women who just look beautiful with their fully gray hair.

We have so much choice in hair dyes for the graying today, the permanents and semi permanents. There's henna for those who do not want chemicals.

However. If you do not want to dye your hair, don't do it. Its your life and you can live gray if you want it.