I am 29 years old and am holding and holding. That's what happens to women you see. After a certain age, we get a year younger on our birthdaysrather than older. We chose whatever age we feel we are at a certain time and hold. Emotionally I feel 29 or maybe 30. I feel I can still do whatever I want and I am optimistic a lot of the time. I do not look too much into mirrors. I believe longsightedness is a gift from God to women. You do not see the lines and less than firm skin when putting on your make-up. Just don't be silly and look too closely or intently.
Then there's my body. It is rather stubborn and will not listen when I say I am 29. It tries to prove me wrong in every way possible. There are parts not staying firmly in place as they did when I was in fact 29. The skin on my tummy does not spring back into place as it should. I can't spring into the air as I used to be able to but there lies another tale.
This darn traitor body of mine!
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Monday, October 5, 2009
The Way My Mother did.
Growing old gracefully is not about becoming soft spoken, slowing down, literally and not doing things you did when you were young. It is about growing old the way my Mother did.
In her late 70's she had a weekly outing with my cousin when she used to eat her favourite things. When she had to have dialisis, she inspired the nurses and the other patients. She knew all their problems. She never turned anyone away who needed some help, with money or otherwise.
When she became blind, her faith grew stronger. She did not give in to despair. She called her children to enquire about our health and gave advice on our problems.
I remember how she asked forgiveness from all for any wrong she may have done. She was a blind eighty old women then.
And that is how you grow old gracefully, with faith and love, the way Mummy did.
In her late 70's she had a weekly outing with my cousin when she used to eat her favourite things. When she had to have dialisis, she inspired the nurses and the other patients. She knew all their problems. She never turned anyone away who needed some help, with money or otherwise.
When she became blind, her faith grew stronger. She did not give in to despair. She called her children to enquire about our health and gave advice on our problems.
I remember how she asked forgiveness from all for any wrong she may have done. She was a blind eighty old women then.
And that is how you grow old gracefully, with faith and love, the way Mummy did.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Dyeing for Colour.
I just found out about why we go gray. There is this enzyme in our bodies which stops the production of hydrogen peroxides which strips the colour from our hair. This enzyme is reduced as we grow older. This does not quite explain those who start going gray when they are eighteen or younger.
So we go grayer and grayer. Men just look distinguished with gray hair. Indira Ghandi had this streak of white hair that just looked terrific. I admired that streak and wanted to dye my hair like that when I was rather young and gray hair was not looming. Indira Ghandi was a woman of course but more man than many men.
Then, there is Cruella de Ville ( must apologise if I spelt her name wrongly here). Beautiful streaks of gray hair! It does not happen like that in life - not to women. You don't get your gray just where you want it. Your hair grays in bits and pieces, a strand here, another there, then more!
We are saved by the hair dye. Nora Ephron, writer, director etc said that the hair dye was the best thing that happened to women in the 2oth century. My apologies Ms Ephron for paraphrasing and my thanks. I think hair dye is a wonderful thing.
You can choose to go natural with your gray hair. This seems to work better for men - you know the distinguished look I mentioned above. It does not do much for most women. Unfortunately, rightly or wrongly, women who go around with their gray hair are just defined by their age. Yes, it is unfair but that is how it is. There are some exceptions of course, some women who just look beautiful with their fully gray hair.
We have so much choice in hair dyes for the graying today, the permanents and semi permanents. There's henna for those who do not want chemicals.
However. If you do not want to dye your hair, don't do it. Its your life and you can live gray if you want it.
So we go grayer and grayer. Men just look distinguished with gray hair. Indira Ghandi had this streak of white hair that just looked terrific. I admired that streak and wanted to dye my hair like that when I was rather young and gray hair was not looming. Indira Ghandi was a woman of course but more man than many men.
Then, there is Cruella de Ville ( must apologise if I spelt her name wrongly here). Beautiful streaks of gray hair! It does not happen like that in life - not to women. You don't get your gray just where you want it. Your hair grays in bits and pieces, a strand here, another there, then more!
We are saved by the hair dye. Nora Ephron, writer, director etc said that the hair dye was the best thing that happened to women in the 2oth century. My apologies Ms Ephron for paraphrasing and my thanks. I think hair dye is a wonderful thing.
You can choose to go natural with your gray hair. This seems to work better for men - you know the distinguished look I mentioned above. It does not do much for most women. Unfortunately, rightly or wrongly, women who go around with their gray hair are just defined by their age. Yes, it is unfair but that is how it is. There are some exceptions of course, some women who just look beautiful with their fully gray hair.
We have so much choice in hair dyes for the graying today, the permanents and semi permanents. There's henna for those who do not want chemicals.
However. If you do not want to dye your hair, don't do it. Its your life and you can live gray if you want it.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Martial Arts.
We grow older and older but we should not say we are old. That word has terrible connotations! Call yourself a mature adult, one with wisdom and experience. Old age is equated with weakness, frality, loss of independence. That should be the only thing or the main thing about being old.
The Bible says that there is a season for everything. So an "old" person is in the season for resting, indulgence and sharing of wisdom and experience.
You can still appreciate life and old its beauty. The younger ones in your family will love hearing tales of your youth. Surprise them about how once, you used to kick off your shoes and dance.
Lift up your hands and admire your hard earned wrinkles and spots. Smile at yourself in the mirror and just see that smile and the twinkle that remains in your eyes.
Leap into the air and kick out, if only in your mind. There is still life in you yet. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
The Bible says that there is a season for everything. So an "old" person is in the season for resting, indulgence and sharing of wisdom and experience.
You can still appreciate life and old its beauty. The younger ones in your family will love hearing tales of your youth. Surprise them about how once, you used to kick off your shoes and dance.
Lift up your hands and admire your hard earned wrinkles and spots. Smile at yourself in the mirror and just see that smile and the twinkle that remains in your eyes.
Leap into the air and kick out, if only in your mind. There is still life in you yet. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Monday, September 28, 2009
The Hairy Issue.
In the Old Testament of the Bible, there are many references to the beauty of a woman's hair. Women today spend time and money on their hair. More women than men wear their hair long although I don't think its not masculine for a man to have long hair. The men in the Bible wore their hair long. Jesus is potrayed with long hair. That was how it was in centuries past.
There is always someone telling you what to do, how to dress, how to wear your hair. Some tell you that you can't have long hair if you are short. Then there is that great "gem" of wisdom that you should not have long hair if you are older as it would make you look older.
Huh! So, is it that the older you are, the shorter your hair should be. Then what happens? Do you shave it all off ? Okay, that part is a joke.
The point is it is quite alright to have long hair at any age. You may want to have layers to soften the look and of course, so as not to drag down your face further. Wear your hair any way it suits you. Wear your hair any way you like even if it does not suit you. If you prefer shorter or short hair, then that's the way you should have your hair.
Its your hair, wear it the way you want ere you come to hate it.
There is always someone telling you what to do, how to dress, how to wear your hair. Some tell you that you can't have long hair if you are short. Then there is that great "gem" of wisdom that you should not have long hair if you are older as it would make you look older.
Huh! So, is it that the older you are, the shorter your hair should be. Then what happens? Do you shave it all off ? Okay, that part is a joke.
The point is it is quite alright to have long hair at any age. You may want to have layers to soften the look and of course, so as not to drag down your face further. Wear your hair any way it suits you. Wear your hair any way you like even if it does not suit you. If you prefer shorter or short hair, then that's the way you should have your hair.
Its your hair, wear it the way you want ere you come to hate it.
Friday, September 25, 2009
War Paint and Face Paint.
I am talking about make-up here if you haven't guessed. This post refers only to women although some men do look rather fine with some dark eyeliner. Just a touch. Too much and its Alice Cooper. Who? Look it up little girls and boys. Google "Tip toe through the Tulips".
You see teenagers and young adults with flourescent eye shadow that glow like toxic waste. They are allowed. Some of the concessions we give the young - and those models of course. They can wear wierd make-up that lights up dark dance floors and be silly. That's what being young is about. Then they grow up. That's where we older ones come in.
Its not about doing what's appropriate for your age. I have come to dislike that word, overused for want of a better vocabulary!
Its about growing into yourself and learning what makes you look good. The situation is different at every point of your life. If you have young children who keep you up all night, dark eyelinder at your lower lashes will only make you look more tired and worsen those dark circles.
Thick foundation is only going to make bad skin look worse and aggravate that acne. Tired eyes, emphasise your lips to take away attention from those eys.
We come to a time when the skin on our faces is not that firm, laughter lines form and get deeper. The solution is not to slap on thicker make-up, you would only be fooling yourself and those with poor eyesight. It is said that Nature compensates us with poor eyesight as we grow older so that we look just as good as we did when we were young when we look in the mirror - at least to ourselves.
What the heck! Never mind wear whatever make- up you like. Who cares? Certainly no one you should bother about. Make mistakes. Its not a life and death issue. We could do worse things in our lives.
Now get that make-up case out and start painting.
You see teenagers and young adults with flourescent eye shadow that glow like toxic waste. They are allowed. Some of the concessions we give the young - and those models of course. They can wear wierd make-up that lights up dark dance floors and be silly. That's what being young is about. Then they grow up. That's where we older ones come in.
Its not about doing what's appropriate for your age. I have come to dislike that word, overused for want of a better vocabulary!
Its about growing into yourself and learning what makes you look good. The situation is different at every point of your life. If you have young children who keep you up all night, dark eyelinder at your lower lashes will only make you look more tired and worsen those dark circles.
Thick foundation is only going to make bad skin look worse and aggravate that acne. Tired eyes, emphasise your lips to take away attention from those eys.
We come to a time when the skin on our faces is not that firm, laughter lines form and get deeper. The solution is not to slap on thicker make-up, you would only be fooling yourself and those with poor eyesight. It is said that Nature compensates us with poor eyesight as we grow older so that we look just as good as we did when we were young when we look in the mirror - at least to ourselves.
What the heck! Never mind wear whatever make- up you like. Who cares? Certainly no one you should bother about. Make mistakes. Its not a life and death issue. We could do worse things in our lives.
Now get that make-up case out and start painting.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Clothes maketh the man.
The above title applies obviously, to women too. So do clothes make you what you are? Do others read the person you are from the way you dress.
With the fall of Man and the awareness of sin, Man had to cover up. The climate in the Garden of Eden did not necessitate clothing for protection from the elements.
We are required to dress in a certain way at certain times. Uniforms are mandatory in certain jobs. We are often expected to dress in an "appropriate" manner or to be "suitably" dressed where we work even when there are no uniforms. Does the way way you dress really make a difference to the way you work? That is something to be discussed at another time.
Imagine standing on a street corner waiting for friends in a diaphanous dress in freezing weather without a coat. That would be plain stupid. Swimming suits are for the beach or in swimming pools where no one gives extra exposed flesh a second glance. Do I want to see half of someone's exposed bottom in a shopping mall?
Now, what is this about dressing "appropriately" for your age? This has been brought up many times in "Oprah". Well, I would not be seen dead now in a micro mini skirt although my figure can take. I would feel silly. I do show cleavage in evening wear though often my narrow shoulders cause an "off the shoulder" and more cleavege look. Well you know the adage "If you have it, flaunt it".
Why do we have to dress in a motherly or sombre fashion. Look at Susan Sarandon and Goldie Hawn, Julianne Moore and Gloria Messing. The list goes on. I do admire the fashion designer Betsey Johnson. I love the clothes she designs ( I have a couple) and I love the way she chooses to dress and wear her hair. I may not dress exactly that way but I am not suggesting we do that. We should be free spirits as she is. Live free, dress the way you want not how you are expected to.
Practice joie de vivre!
With the fall of Man and the awareness of sin, Man had to cover up. The climate in the Garden of Eden did not necessitate clothing for protection from the elements.
We are required to dress in a certain way at certain times. Uniforms are mandatory in certain jobs. We are often expected to dress in an "appropriate" manner or to be "suitably" dressed where we work even when there are no uniforms. Does the way way you dress really make a difference to the way you work? That is something to be discussed at another time.
Imagine standing on a street corner waiting for friends in a diaphanous dress in freezing weather without a coat. That would be plain stupid. Swimming suits are for the beach or in swimming pools where no one gives extra exposed flesh a second glance. Do I want to see half of someone's exposed bottom in a shopping mall?
Now, what is this about dressing "appropriately" for your age? This has been brought up many times in "Oprah". Well, I would not be seen dead now in a micro mini skirt although my figure can take. I would feel silly. I do show cleavage in evening wear though often my narrow shoulders cause an "off the shoulder" and more cleavege look. Well you know the adage "If you have it, flaunt it".
Why do we have to dress in a motherly or sombre fashion. Look at Susan Sarandon and Goldie Hawn, Julianne Moore and Gloria Messing. The list goes on. I do admire the fashion designer Betsey Johnson. I love the clothes she designs ( I have a couple) and I love the way she chooses to dress and wear her hair. I may not dress exactly that way but I am not suggesting we do that. We should be free spirits as she is. Live free, dress the way you want not how you are expected to.
Practice joie de vivre!
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Behaviour - Expected or Appropriate.
There are some who reach the grand old age of 30 and decide to modify their behaviour to one more appropriate for their age. They decide to stop looking for love ( or some other "l") in all the wrong places and start "settling down". No more "blacking out" boozing. Well some behaviour is not appropriate at any age!
It is expected for the fledgling adult to do a few minorly wild things, to make mistakes as we all do at every point of our lives. Real wild things are a no no.
Then they are those who believe that marriage comes with its own appropriate behaviour. You must therafter walk a little slower, look a little wiser.
Appropriate behaviour should not have age as a critera. On the other hand you are entitled to do the unexpected especially if you are older ( a caveat on illegal and dangerous activities).
Growing older gives you perogatives. Dance on a table if you want. Inappropriate? Who says so and who cares. Unexpected? Good.
Tip toe through the tulips - roses if you prefer. Then smell them. Do the unexpected and prove you are alive.
It is expected for the fledgling adult to do a few minorly wild things, to make mistakes as we all do at every point of our lives. Real wild things are a no no.
Then they are those who believe that marriage comes with its own appropriate behaviour. You must therafter walk a little slower, look a little wiser.
Appropriate behaviour should not have age as a critera. On the other hand you are entitled to do the unexpected especially if you are older ( a caveat on illegal and dangerous activities).
Growing older gives you perogatives. Dance on a table if you want. Inappropriate? Who says so and who cares. Unexpected? Good.
Tip toe through the tulips - roses if you prefer. Then smell them. Do the unexpected and prove you are alive.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Age Appropriateness.
Don't you hate that term? I do.
The use of that term fits you in a catergory, into a box you can't wriggle out of. Its use defines a person by a number. A person using that term on you tries to restict you by rules and restrictions that are of absolutely no importance in the grand scheme of things.
We reach a certain age and that's all we are?
When we are young we are told how to dress and how to behave by our parents, our grandparents, by anyone whose "superior" age gave him/her the right to dictate to you. Now that we are older with acquired knowledge, experience and wisdom, we are told by everyone how we should live "for our age".
Who decides for you what is appropriate for your age? Having experienced anxiety, loss, pain and sorrow, having faced what life has thrown at you, who should dare to!
The use of that term fits you in a catergory, into a box you can't wriggle out of. Its use defines a person by a number. A person using that term on you tries to restict you by rules and restrictions that are of absolutely no importance in the grand scheme of things.
We reach a certain age and that's all we are?
When we are young we are told how to dress and how to behave by our parents, our grandparents, by anyone whose "superior" age gave him/her the right to dictate to you. Now that we are older with acquired knowledge, experience and wisdom, we are told by everyone how we should live "for our age".
Who decides for you what is appropriate for your age? Having experienced anxiety, loss, pain and sorrow, having faced what life has thrown at you, who should dare to!
Monday, September 14, 2009
Rubbish.
Rubbish as in refuse, waste material, as in balderdash! We take on a lot of rubbish in our lives, some are thrown at us, some we acquire ourselves.
Who wants rubbish? No one should but we do at times when we do not recognise some things as rubbish. We are told to do things in a certain way, we are told to behave in a certain way. Often it is of no consequence what you do, how you do it. However so many are caught in this rigid road of compliance. You comply because you are expected to. You comply because that's what others do. You comply or you will be judged silly, eccentric or just plain mad.
If you are not hurting anyone, you can be different. You can be your own self and soar!
Who wants rubbish? No one should but we do at times when we do not recognise some things as rubbish. We are told to do things in a certain way, we are told to behave in a certain way. Often it is of no consequence what you do, how you do it. However so many are caught in this rigid road of compliance. You comply because you are expected to. You comply because that's what others do. You comply or you will be judged silly, eccentric or just plain mad.
If you are not hurting anyone, you can be different. You can be your own self and soar!
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Grace.
I have no problem with grace. I ask God for Her grace. I admire graceful people. I admire giraffes with their graceful necks. I admire the graceful beauty of a cheetah running.
I do not admire those who say "Oh you know, we should accept that we are older/ at this age and we should act accordingly." Which man made or God made law is that?
Life is to be cherished at whatever age. We should laugh, sing and dance at whatever age we are without artificial restrictions placed on us. So what if your joints are a little stiff, so what if you don't have the latest moves, so what if you do not know the latest "in" terms. Exercise and loosen those joints, take up adult ballet, learn sensuous salsa moves.
The world is still your oyster. Slurp it!
I do not admire those who say "Oh you know, we should accept that we are older/ at this age and we should act accordingly." Which man made or God made law is that?
Life is to be cherished at whatever age. We should laugh, sing and dance at whatever age we are without artificial restrictions placed on us. So what if your joints are a little stiff, so what if you don't have the latest moves, so what if you do not know the latest "in" terms. Exercise and loosen those joints, take up adult ballet, learn sensuous salsa moves.
The world is still your oyster. Slurp it!
The Art of Growing older.
We know about physiology , the science of the body and how we grow older and then,just old. My first post was on that.
Everone grows older, not everyone grows up! We need to develop our emotions and our mind as we grow older. Often peole talk of maturity as having reached a certain age. That is only physical maturity and in part, mental maturity.
Maturity is largely a state of mind. It is achieving the ability to know yourself, to live in a world that may not alway understand you and to understand people whether or not you may like them. Being mature is understanding and respecting the whole of God's creation. It is trying to know God even without understanding Her at times. That is the art of growing old.
You may suspect by now that I am not this young, lovely woman. I am lovely, hhmmm. I am 28 and holding and holding and holding.
Everone grows older, not everyone grows up! We need to develop our emotions and our mind as we grow older. Often peole talk of maturity as having reached a certain age. That is only physical maturity and in part, mental maturity.
Maturity is largely a state of mind. It is achieving the ability to know yourself, to live in a world that may not alway understand you and to understand people whether or not you may like them. Being mature is understanding and respecting the whole of God's creation. It is trying to know God even without understanding Her at times. That is the art of growing old.
You may suspect by now that I am not this young, lovely woman. I am lovely, hhmmm. I am 28 and holding and holding and holding.
Friday, September 11, 2009
The Science.
If you haven't realised this by now, you do look somewhat different from what you did a year ago. If you haven't changed at all, its probably because you have had some cosmetic surgery done. No? Then it must be those good genes of yours.
Whatever. The fact is that we all grow older and we will all grow old. If we did not grow older there would be many, many babies around. Ok, that's silly, we do grow older. Cells die and new cells grow or regenerate. There comes a time when there are more cells dying than there are new cells and we grow old. There is no fountain of youth.
You can delay the process by exercise and good eating habits. You can use serums, creams, every other product under the sun to delay the outward ravages of aging a little or have cosmetic surgery and procedures to hide them.
That's the science of the matter.
But who the heck decided we have to age gracefully!
Whatever. The fact is that we all grow older and we will all grow old. If we did not grow older there would be many, many babies around. Ok, that's silly, we do grow older. Cells die and new cells grow or regenerate. There comes a time when there are more cells dying than there are new cells and we grow old. There is no fountain of youth.
You can delay the process by exercise and good eating habits. You can use serums, creams, every other product under the sun to delay the outward ravages of aging a little or have cosmetic surgery and procedures to hide them.
That's the science of the matter.
But who the heck decided we have to age gracefully!
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