Making an Effort.

Christmas is past. The new year celebrations are over. I made an effort.

I have lots of make-up. I use very little. Most times, I only use lipstick. On Christmaand eve and New Year's eve, I tried a little more. Like an expert, I brushed some eyeshadow on and lined my upper lids. I used blusher sparingly on the right places. I felt good and looked good it appears, from the compliments I received.

I want to look good for myself. The appreciation of others is a bonus. It is so easy to just not bother at all. There is a danger in that. If you look good, you feel good. You feel confident about yourself. It is not about vanity, it is about making the most you have for yourself.

Don't say rubbish like " I am at this age and shouldn't be bothering so much about myself but leave that to the young ones." You might as well lie down and prepare for your death. People who say things like that make me mad and sad at the same time. You says you have to give up on ourself, on your looks, once you reach a certain age. It is not about trying to go back to your youth. It is about being the best you can at any age.

Its my life and I will look good if I want to!

This Darn Body.

I am 29 years old and am holding and holding. That's what happens to women you see. After a certain age, we get a year younger on our birthdaysrather than older. We chose whatever age we feel we are at a certain time and hold. Emotionally I feel 29 or maybe 30. I feel I can still do whatever I want and I am optimistic a lot of the time. I do not look too much into mirrors. I believe longsightedness is a gift from God to women. You do not see the lines and less than firm skin when putting on your make-up. Just don't be silly and look too closely or intently.

Then there's my body. It is rather stubborn and will not listen when I say I am 29. It tries to prove me wrong in every way possible. There are parts not staying firmly in place as they did when I was in fact 29. The skin on my tummy does not spring back into place as it should. I can't spring into the air as I used to be able to but there lies another tale.

This darn traitor body of mine!

The Way My Mother did.

Growing old gracefully is not about becoming soft spoken, slowing down, literally and not doing things you did when you were young. It is about growing old the way my Mother did.

In her late 70's she had a weekly outing with my cousin when she used to eat her favourite things. When she had to have dialisis, she inspired the nurses and the other patients. She knew all their problems. She never turned anyone away who needed some help, with money or otherwise.

When she became blind, her faith grew stronger. She did not give in to despair. She called her children to enquire about our health and gave advice on our problems.

I remember how she asked forgiveness from all for any wrong she may have done. She was a blind eighty old women then.

And that is how you grow old gracefully, with faith and love, the way Mummy did.

Dyeing for Colour.

I just found out about why we go gray. There is this enzyme in our bodies which stops the production of hydrogen peroxides which strips the colour from our hair. This enzyme is reduced as we grow older. This does not quite explain those who start going gray when they are eighteen or younger.

So we go grayer and grayer. Men just look distinguished with gray hair. Indira Ghandi had this streak of white hair that just looked terrific. I admired that streak and wanted to dye my hair like that when I was rather young and gray hair was not looming. Indira Ghandi was a woman of course but more man than many men.

Then, there is Cruella de Ville ( must apologise if I spelt her name wrongly here). Beautiful streaks of gray hair! It does not happen like that in life - not to women. You don't get your gray just where you want it. Your hair grays in bits and pieces, a strand here, another there, then more!

We are saved by the hair dye. Nora Ephron, writer, director etc said that the hair dye was the best thing that happened to women in the 2oth century. My apologies Ms Ephron for paraphrasing and my thanks. I think hair dye is a wonderful thing.

You can choose to go natural with your gray hair. This seems to work better for men - you know the distinguished look I mentioned above. It does not do much for most women. Unfortunately, rightly or wrongly, women who go around with their gray hair are just defined by their age. Yes, it is unfair but that is how it is. There are some exceptions of course, some women who just look beautiful with their fully gray hair.

We have so much choice in hair dyes for the graying today, the permanents and semi permanents. There's henna for those who do not want chemicals.

However. If you do not want to dye your hair, don't do it. Its your life and you can live gray if you want it.

Martial Arts.

We grow older and older but we should not say we are old. That word has terrible connotations! Call yourself a mature adult, one with wisdom and experience. Old age is equated with weakness, frality, loss of independence. That should be the only thing or the main thing about being old.

The Bible says that there is a season for everything. So an "old" person is in the season for resting, indulgence and sharing of wisdom and experience.

You can still appreciate life and old its beauty. The younger ones in your family will love hearing tales of your youth. Surprise them about how once, you used to kick off your shoes and dance.

Lift up your hands and admire your hard earned wrinkles and spots. Smile at yourself in the mirror and just see that smile and the twinkle that remains in your eyes.

Leap into the air and kick out, if only in your mind. There is still life in you yet. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

The Hairy Issue.

In the Old Testament of the Bible, there are many references to the beauty of a woman's hair. Women today spend time and money on their hair. More women than men wear their hair long although I don't think its not masculine for a man to have long hair. The men in the Bible wore their hair long. Jesus is potrayed with long hair. That was how it was in centuries past.

There is always someone telling you what to do, how to dress, how to wear your hair. Some tell you that you can't have long hair if you are short. Then there is that great "gem" of wisdom that you should not have long hair if you are older as it would make you look older.

Huh! So, is it that the older you are, the shorter your hair should be. Then what happens? Do you shave it all off ? Okay, that part is a joke.

The point is it is quite alright to have long hair at any age. You may want to have layers to soften the look and of course, so as not to drag down your face further. Wear your hair any way it suits you. Wear your hair any way you like even if it does not suit you. If you prefer shorter or short hair, then that's the way you should have your hair.

Its your hair, wear it the way you want ere you come to hate it.

War Paint and Face Paint.

I am talking about make-up here if you haven't guessed. This post refers only to women although some men do look rather fine with some dark eyeliner. Just a touch. Too much and its Alice Cooper. Who? Look it up little girls and boys. Google "Tip toe through the Tulips".

You see teenagers and young adults with flourescent eye shadow that glow like toxic waste. They are allowed. Some of the concessions we give the young - and those models of course. They can wear wierd make-up that lights up dark dance floors and be silly. That's what being young is about. Then they grow up. That's where we older ones come in.

Its not about doing what's appropriate for your age. I have come to dislike that word, overused for want of a better vocabulary!

Its about growing into yourself and learning what makes you look good. The situation is different at every point of your life. If you have young children who keep you up all night, dark eyelinder at your lower lashes will only make you look more tired and worsen those dark circles.

Thick foundation is only going to make bad skin look worse and aggravate that acne. Tired eyes, emphasise your lips to take away attention from those eys.

We come to a time when the skin on our faces is not that firm, laughter lines form and get deeper. The solution is not to slap on thicker make-up, you would only be fooling yourself and those with poor eyesight. It is said that Nature compensates us with poor eyesight as we grow older so that we look just as good as we did when we were young when we look in the mirror - at least to ourselves.

What the heck! Never mind wear whatever make- up you like. Who cares? Certainly no one you should bother about. Make mistakes. Its not a life and death issue. We could do worse things in our lives.

Now get that make-up case out and start painting.